


I Do

by LunaWinchester4255



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Infidelity, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-31
Updated: 2016-10-31
Packaged: 2018-08-28 03:22:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8429614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LunaWinchester4255/pseuds/LunaWinchester4255
Summary: Dean and Castiel used to date but Cas struggled to say those three special words. It caused the breakup. But now after a long time of harboring the love, Dean can't take it anymore so he jumps into an engagement in an attempt to forget about Castiel. But can he?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Shout out to impalawings for helping me with this prompt!

_I love him. I always have._

 

They’d been drinking, so, of course, he didn’t know better. Well, even if he did it didn’t matter. What was the big deal? It was just one kiss.

 

Half a bottle of whiskey was on the table, Dean and Cas on the couch, buzzed. Piles of old Polaroid photos scattered around the place. “So,” Cas began, “you’re getting married tomorrow,” he whispered, biting his lip and looking over at Dean. Dean Winchester, the myth, the legend, and; Castiel’s best friend. (Not to mention his crush)

 

Usually, it was easy for Cas to keep control over his emotions, but tonight he wasn’t having it. Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was because they were reminiscing. But he couldn’t help it. Just look at Dean, smiling drunkenly, even though he wasn’t all that intoxicated. It reminded him of their prom night, where Cas got stood up by April and Dean wasn’t having it. They ditched the dance and Dean took him to a drive-in movie instead. A fifth of whiskey in the glove compartment and they got plastered.

 

All he remembered was Dean’s warm lips on his and hot breath in his ear. Maybe there were tears but it’s been so long it was a blur. Or maybe he didn’t want to remember. Plus he woke up with dried come in his pants. He didn’t tell the other. Maybe Dean woke up in the same state, but if he did he never said anything. And now they were here, Dean had just turned 29 and he was engaged. It was a surprise, apparently, an old flame rekindled. But as long as he was happy that’s all that mattered, right?

 

Tipsy Cas thought otherwise. He thought it was unfair, and that if Dean was going to be tying the knot with anyone, it should be him. It was his fault after all. If he’d told Dean his feelings earlier, it would be him picking out cake flavors and looking at invitations and not Anna. That pissed him off more than anything. His sister was going to marry the love of his life and all he could do was sit back and smile. He was honestly surprised they hadn’t gotten into it in the first place since he never cared for her and then he’d talk about how he knew Dean from the get-go. He never brought up the fact that he and Dean had been in a relationship first or it was him Dean chose her over on prom night.

 

Anna expected to lose her virginity to him, but Cas ended up in Dean’s arms rather than Anna. But that information never saw the light of day.

 

Dean’s hand was sifting through the piles of photos, his speech slightly slurred. Castiel was on the floor, trying to make some strange chronological collage. “Dean, come here.” He tried his best not to slur his words, taking extra effort to enunciate. Dean sat next to him, dumping more photos beside them. He pointed to a photo of the two in tuxes, back to back. Instead of finger guns, they had BB guns and posed. Dean had retrieved a small chest from beneath his bed and a bunch of their old high school photos was in there. At the top was their freshman year, a bunch of their shenanigans photographed by a chubby Sammy, or someone else for that matter.

But once Cas dug deeper, he could tell those old emotions were going to surface. Like when he picked up a photo of the pair holding hands in front of a lake they used to visit every summer in Thompsonville.

“Hey, Dean?” Cas whispered, pulling out a smaller scrapbook labeled, “Our Story”. He recognized it immediately. Dean made it for him. He could see that Dean visibly grew uneasy, but Cas decided to make it easy and just keep it tucked away.

 

“No, no, it’s okay. We can look at it…” Dean insisted, a wry smile on his lips. He’d never admit it, (well, maybe when he was drunk off his ass) that being with Cas was probably--no definitely the best time of his life. Cas exchanged the awkward smile and opened the album. Dean was rarely sentimental, so it was quite a shock when he gave that to Cas for their six month anniversary.

 

They flipped through the pages, tears welling in Cas’ eyes. He thought he’d locked these feelings away years ago but now he couldn't help it. Maybe Dean saw it too. In his eyes when they woke up and shared their morning coffee. When Cas insisted on sharing their dreams, opening Dean up and their friendship was something he depended on, not second-guessing himself that Dean felt that way too.

 

“I remember that,” Cas whispered, pointing to one of the photos. He was asleep on Christmas morning and he couldn’t help but take a photo of his boyfriend while Mary insisted Cas put a Santa hat on him.

 

After about a dozen more photos Cas decided enough was enough. If he was going to say something, it was now or never. “I miss this, you know.” Castiel’s eyes met Dean’s candy-green eyes, surprised to hear the words come out of the latter’s mouth instead of his.

“Me too,” he replied lamely. “You always do that...taking words out of my mouth before I get a chance to say it…” Cas teased, but it sounded more serious than he intended.

 

“It’s just who I am. But you must’ve liked it because it always got you in a good mood,” he slurred slightly, avoiding Cas’ eyes.

 

“It did,” Cas inhaled, biting his lip. “What happened to us? I mean...my sister?” He whimpered pathetically, his emotions getting a hold of him.

 

“It just happened. We’re adults and it’s time to start thinking about a family...white picket fence, apple pie life.” Dean almost choked on the words, the words tasting sour on his tongue. It’s not what he wanted to say, but Anna seemed fitting. Sure most of the time they didn’t get along, but when it came down to it they could move on.

 

“You just turned twenty-nine and you want a family out of the blue? That’s not the Dean I know.”

 

“Well, the Dean you know is gone!” Cas cowered at his tone, expecting a swing of some kind. But it didn’t come. “Cas- I-I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have raised my voice… I’d never hurt you. I just had to put those feelings away a while ago. It’s set in stone.”

 

“Oh, don’t give me that crap. You’re the one who always said it was gonna be you and me and no one could change that. I realize it was  long, long time ago, but I just thought you meant it. So, forgive me if I can’t wrap my head around the fact that you’re marrying my sister tomorrow.”

 

“I did mean it,” he said almost inaudibly.

 

Cas sniffled, turning his head. “Then what happened?” he restated, reaching out for Dean’s hand.

 

“Did you love me?” Dean whispered, his walls falling down.

 

“I-...” he reached over to Dean’s face, leaning his head forward. The position was uncomfortable but he didn’t care. He’d always have trouble finding the words to express how much he appreciated Dean. Now it was time. “Let me show you.”

 

Dean obliged, pulling Cas into his arms and let the rest happen naturally. Dean’s hands found their way around to the small of Castiel’s back. Their lips crashed together gracefully, Cas’ heartbeat picking up. The sparks reignited inside him as if they were gone in the first place. Maybe it was jealousy and perhaps he was being possessive, but he couldn't help it. He knew this wouldn’t be here tomorrow. Dean would be married to his older sister. But this is where he found solace: resting in Dean’s lap while they kissed slowly. Their tongues twirled slowly, warmth and alcohol dipping with old emotions and sparks that were hidden by obligations. He paused momentarily, breathing softly. “I’m sorry,” Dean looked Cas in the eyes. He couldn’t do this, it wasn’t fair to Anna. “We can’t do this.”

 

Those words broke Dean, but he couldn’t let it show. He couldn’t tell Castiel how much it hurt him after they broke up or how he cried almost every night for months. He couldn’t tell Cas that he had a ring for him in the trunk of the Impala. He still held onto it since before they broke up. It would hurt too much. Did Cas even love him?

 

“I understand… you’ve moved on.” Cas stood up, swaying a bit. He began to pick up the photos and put them in the box, shutting it. “I guess we should go to bed, you’re getting married in the morning.” Cas went to the kitchen to get a glass of water, Dean following suit. The last thing he needed was to have a hangover the day of his wedding.

 

“Yes I do...did…” Cas muttered into his cup as he chugged the water. “Goodnight.” He said, caught off guard when he turned around and Dean was directly behind him.

 

Cas put his cup in the sink and instinctively buried his head in Dean’s chest for comfort. He half expected Dean to push him away, but he did the opposite. He pulled him into a gentle embrace before kissing his forehead. “I’m sorry we gave up. But it’s too late.”

 

“Is it?” Cas interjected, “You can still...you know.”

 

“Choose you over Anna?”

 

“It wouldn’t be the first time…”

 

He cupped Castiel’s cheeks, pressing their lips together once more before pulling away.

 

\-----*---*---*-----

 

Dean stood in front of the mirror, fixing his tie. He inhaled, not ready to stand in front of people who he barely spoke to. He had a feeling in his stomach that he hated.

 

His thoughts came to a halt when there was a knock on the door and Sam, Gabriel, Chuck, and Becky walked in.

 

“Dean, how are you feeling?” Sam asked, also dressed up, Gabriel on his arm. Dean only groaned in response. “You look nice, Dean-o. My sis is going to love it. Well, not as much as another sibling but still.”

 

“You mean Cas? Where is he, anyway?” Dean sounded concerned.

 

Becky spoke up, “Dean, Chuck and I love you very much...but are you sure you and Anna are ready to get married? Is this what you want?”

 

“Beck,” Chuck butted in, “Dean, she’s right. I know Anna wants to marry you but you guys only got engaged three months ago. You guys were barely dating beforehand.”

 

“And it’s not that we don’t think you two are good together...well, that’s beside the point. It’s just…” Becky trailed off, signaling for Chuck to finish her sentence.

 

“Well, it’s just that we didn’t expect Anna to be the Novak you married,” Gabriel and Chuck said in unison.

 

Dean sat on an ottoman, scrubbing his hands over his face. “Cas and I kissed last night and I told him I couldn’t let Anna down. But I just-”

 

Mary entered the room, John following. “There he is,” John came up and patted Dean on the back. “You ready to get married, big man?” Dean nodded his head reluctantly.

Mary stepped in front of him, getting on her knees to look at him. “Dean, honey, what’s wrong?”

 

When Dean didn’t answer, Gabriel did. “He’s in love, and not with the bride-to-be.”

 

A collective groan of “Gabriel” erupted from Sam, Chuck, and Becky.

 

“Is that true, Dean?” Mary asked gently.

 

Dean nodded slightly.

 

Gabriel whistled. “That is a tough one, bro. Well, why don’t you just call it off then?”

 

“And let Anna down? She loves me and well I have to start thinking about a family. I’d hate to let you guys down. No harm, no foul.”

 

They all had their opinion, but they understood.

 

“Just know, whatever happens, we’re here for you, sweetheart.” Becky and Mary said together, the rest of them filing out of the room. Sam stayed and when it was time, they exited to the Chapel.

 

Dean stood at the altar, wanting it to just end. The music began to play and the guests stood up, the bride walking down the aisle, Chuck beside her. The rows were covered with purple lilies, Anna’s choice.

 

Dean felt himself cramping and did his best not to look uncomfortable. Once Anna made her way across Dean, she didn’t look all that happy either. The preacher cleared his throat and the song ended, the congregation sitting back down.

 

He began, "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today in the presence of these witnesses, to join Dean Winchester and Anna Novak in matrimony, which is commended for being honorable among all men; and therefore is not by any to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently, discreetly, advisedly and solemnly. Into this holy estate these two persons present now come to be joined. If any person can show just cause why they may not be joined together, let them speak now or forever hold their peace."

 

No one spoke, and Dean was a bit disappointed. Suddenly there was a loud bang, and Cas barged in. His eyes were puffy and his hair messy. He’d obviously been crying. “Dean, wait!”

 

Everyone’s attention turned to him. “Cas…” he sounded relieved.

  
“I…Please don’t go through with this! Please look inside your heart I know I’m still there! I know you still care for me and I you. I want to make it right. I hope my words aren’t meaningless to you…” he called, still panting from his run.

 

“Cas, I-” Dean was speechless.

 

“Surely you can marry Anna, but will you be happy? If you have kids with her and build with her, how long will it be until you regret it? You may be thinking that now it can just happen but I know our kiss didn’t mean that you were willing to just go through with this!” he cried, his heart aching. “I’m begging you, please!”

 

The crowd gasped, their eyes now on Dean. “Cas…”

 

“Dean, you know me better than I know myself and I ask you, please… There’s still empty space for ‘Our Story’ to grow.”

 

Dean knew in his heart that he was making a mistake. “I’m sorry, Cas. Please forgive me.”

 

Castiel sat down in an empty seat, covering his eyes. He couldn’t watch this.

 

The minister continued, “If there are no other objections, by the power vested in me by the State of Kansas, I now pronounce you husband and wife.” Anna leaned in and they kissed on the cheek, something off between them.

 

\-----*---*---*-----

 

Castiel sat at the bar, staring at his drink. All he could think about is where he went wrong. If only he could’ve said those stupid words. But he couldn’t. And it had cost him the love of his life.

 

He turned around and saw Dean and Anna dancing to one of the pop songs she enjoyed. “How is that marriage going to even work if she can’t appreciate Dean’s classic rock?” He muttered.

 

Just then, the song changed.

 

The instrumental began to play, and Cas couldn’t help but stand up and see Dean frozen.

 

“Dean?” He called, and their eyes met. Cas walked towards him, his hand out. “For old times sake?”

 

Dean couldn’t help but nod and took Cas’ hand as the lyrics began to sink into their ears. It was _their_ song.

 

_So close no matter how far_

_Couldn't be much more from the heart_

_Forever trusting who we are_

_And nothing else matters_

 

_Never opened myself this way_

_Life is ours, we live it our way_

_All these words I don't just say_

_And nothing else matters_

 

They swayed along the dance floor, Dean holding Cas closer than he held his own wife moments before. Their eyes locked, unable to look away. Dean knew he had messed up as Cas faced him, heartbreak obvious in the man’s eyes.

 

“Forgive me…” Dean whispered, pulling Cas close as if that’d help.

 

_Trust I seek and I find in you_

_Every day for us something new_

_Open mind for a different view_

_And nothing else matters_

 

_Never cared for what they do_

_Never cared for what they know_

_But I know_

 

_So close no matter how far_

_Couldn't be much more from the heart_

_Forever trusting who we are_

_And nothing else matters_

“As long as you’re happy, nothing else matters…” Cas said, faking a smile.

 

_Never cared for what they do_

_Never cared for what they know_

_But I know_

 

_I never opened myself this way_

_Life is ours, we live it our way_

_All these words I don't just say_

_And nothing else matters_

 

_Trust I seek and I find in you_

_Every day for us something new_

_Open mind for a different view_

_And nothing else matters_

 

Dean shook his head, feeling closer to crying than he had the past day, which felt near impossible. But he was still convinced he could fix this. He knew that both of them just wanted this to be over, but he didn’t want to let go of Cas. He should’ve realized that sooner.

 

“I don’t deserve your love.” He admitted, his lips against Cas’ ear.

 

“That’s bullshit.” Cas pulled back to look at him. “You always have deserved it. You’re not a bad person Dean. You’re a good person that bad things have happened to.”

 

_Never cared for what they say_

_Never cared for games they play_

_Never cared for what they do_

_Never cared for what they know_

_And I know_

 

_So close no matter how far_

_Couldn't be much more from the heart_

_Forever trusting who we are_

_No nothing else matters_

 

After the song ended, Cas vanished.

\-----*---*---*-----

 

Anna was outside, her lips kissing the butt of a cigarette. Dean approached her, his hand on her arm.

 

“We need to talk,” they said in unison.

 

“Well, you go first.” She put the cigarette out, crossing her arms.

 

“I’m sorry Anna, but I don’t think is going to work out. I just…”

“You’re in love with my brother. I know.”

 

“You know?”

 

“Look, Dean, I’m going, to be honest. I saw the way you two were looking at each other on the dance floor and I know that that song belongs to you and him. I’m not going to lie. Throughout this marriage, I probably never would look at you the way he does. So, forgive me but we can get this annulled. My parents know it, your parents know it. We’re not in love. So don’t sit around and fake things when the man you love is out there. Go get him, Dean.”

 

“Happy life to you.”

 

“Ciao.”

 

So, Dean ran. He grabbed his keys and he was thankful he hadn’t had a drink yet. He got into the front seat of Baby and drove to his apartment. He was grateful to finally get out of this monkey suit, but there were more important tasks on hand. He needed Cas. Cas needed him.

 

He sped through the highway, not caring about the speed limit. Once he made it, he hurried to the elevator, slamming the button. “Damn it! Hurry up!”

Finally, he was upstairs. He unlocked the door, the apartment quiet.

 

He carefully shut the door and took off his suit jacket and tie, walking to the light at the end of the hall, peeking his head into Cas’ room. Cas was crying, looking at the old photos. Dean’s heart shattered.

 

“Nothing else matters…” he spoke, successfully getting Castiel’s attention.

 

“D-Dean?” he sniffled, wiping his eyes.

 

“Yeah, bumblebee...it’s me.” Dean used the nickname he used to call Cas, hoping it’d raise his spirits.

 

“I...you were right. I didn’t love her.” He walked into Cas’ room and sat on the bed. “Anna and I weren’t in love… but she understood. I’m sorry I didn’t realize sooner. You don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve you. I put you through so much and I hurt you so badly.”

 

Cas cleared his throat. “I’m in love with you.”

 

“You what?” Dean seemed shocked.

 

“I didn’t know how to say it before. It took me losing you multiple times to realize I need you. It’s so messed up and it’s probably not worth it now but I love you.”

 

“I love you too, Cas… and I truly am sorry. I almost cried at the altar because I couldn’t form the words or muster up the courage to leave Anna. But we’re going to get the marriage annulled because I need you. I shouldn’t have let you go back then.”

 

“We’re both at fault Dean but it’s made us better people today.”

 

“Agreed.” He felt a heavy weight off his shoulders, but something was still missing.

 

“Will you be mine?” Cas whispered.

 

“That’s my line,” Dean teased, turning fully to Castiel.

 

Dean wiped his tears gently, leaning to capture his lips. Cas gripped his shirt from behind, pulling Dean above him to deepen the kiss.

 

“Remember when we were teenagers and we did this in the impala?” Cas whispered into the kiss.

 

“You betcha. Now we’ll have more chances to do that.”

 

“Mhm…” Cas agreed. “Dean?”

“Yeah?”

 

“I love you.”

  
“I love you too, bumblebee. And I’m not losing you again.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Kudos and Comments are apprectiated!


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